Our current life with Covid as of 11 April 2021
BLOG Darwin 04 March 2021
how we see the world today 01 March 2021 (Goodbye Darwin)
youtube videos 25 February 2021 (Darwin Street Art)
Follow @neuage
Tweet to @neuage
video - (ties in isolation)
previous youtube channel (stories prior to 2013)
2. Long after yesterday’s vanquished irony
I fell in love with it
Wishing for it to be again
01 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia3. For my Australian siblings of whom I have none today’s maths date is 2-1-21 (it is now Saturday)
For my Yanks who count
The date is 1-2-21 (it is still Friday but when it is Saturday it will be 1-2-21)
And that is our difference
May it be no more than that in 202101
January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia4. Absence of turmoil
In this vacated space
Filled with once were shadows of ours
wandering freely
#aimlessly?
Across opaque horizon(s)
never knowing the absence of turmoil would lull us to sleep
Without regret
You and I
Eternal turmoil made manifest
02 January 2021 Victor Harbor South Australia5. Plateaus of latent polluted consciousness
(entrenched by many)
How trite the uninitiated beggars becomes
Mistakes of evolution
fools who do not garner my vision
I think I will go and shower
just to wash away my thoughts
so exhausting it is being me
03 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia6. Thoughts clashing
Crashing
Accidental reasoning
Love
…such a token effort
If we make it to tomorrow
we will know hope is real
04 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia7. I sped through life
just to get
to here
to hear
what I thought then would be now
so mistaken was my prophecy
intent unravelled
Revelations disregarded
But then again
now could be what someone else imagined
[implanted into me]
as it surely is not where I thought
I would be
long before I sped through life
to arrive to here
The miracle of life
finally realized
05 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia8. I treat my like as a foreign spy
Hiding behind a façade of normality
and my love for you
No criminal intent discoverable
so good I am @ living life as a double agent
to my memories06 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
9. The entertainments of disaster
so easily removed
hiding in front of my TV screen
computer
devices galore
Sometimes I have several disasters
Streaming
Screaming
across multiple screens
All so distance
so abstract
I liked the world before
all these visual haphazard attempts
at life-living fell to the ground
Tomorrow I will sit in my garden
Talk to my flowers
Such a calm world I will see
Why can’t everyone do that08 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
10. Not a favourable situation
Falling off the cliff
Following
the herd
We heard
Wrongly
I love the notion of eternity lasting in nanoseconds
Such a favourable situation after all09 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
11. Your love obfuscated memories that had no chance of survival
10 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
12. I waited
Anticipated
Strived for
the crowning moment of my life
The turning point
Awakening
Orgasmic nuclear achievements unhinged
Unlocked
Bursting forth
Flying free
That metamorphosis moment
in the fable narrative made manifest
But alas
After 73 years of incoherent mumblings
This is it
These words strewn across my rapidly vaporizing self
Damn!10 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
13. No one really cared
though the wind pretended to
as the village was swept
by one more tornado
and as with any love at the end of a dream
various misguided saints
turned away11 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
14. While rehearsing my death
That final moment prior to lights going out
Senses no more
Unfilled dreams erased
I was surprised to see how funny you were
your magical smile so surrendering
Before I forgot all that once was
#Life’sFinalEraser
While rehearsing my death once again
12 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
15. So late the change
Seasonal obstruction
Bleeding softly
Blending slowly
Believing surrender is the only option
Tomorrow we riot
Turmoil awakening desire
Changing the spectator’s perspective
So exciting
The only side I choose
is that of change14 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
16. Passing paragraph toward the end of the news
“death of galaxy observed”
A galaxy with billions of stars gone
such a loss of innocent lives
I look at my hairbrush
More of my hair on my brush
less on my head
now that is a tragedy
of cosmic dimension
We do not see that in the news do we15 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
17. If only
That is what we tell ourselves
(opinion enhanced opportunist’s options)
Orchestrated insurrection of life’s imaginary choices
As hallucinations begat our distorted reality
(our love is forever)
As a child I believed so much
I was a mental magician
(An absorber of what is possible though never possible)
Then suddenly I became old
No longer believing in much
(though still as bewildered as ever)
I stare into the vacuum of my life
If only17 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
18. Plain played plans
Seemingly so simple
Death defying dread directly displayed
I had no idea it would end like this
Plain plans played18 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
19. While mumbling incoherently
on the corner of here and there
passing pedestrians
stopped
smiled
saying
“of course that is the answer”
Before going over the cliff
Of here and now18 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
20. Dreams surrendering
shackled to reality
beliefs unhinged
The alchemy of broken memories
lay scattered
Tattered
naked
across the masked horizon
Otherwise
I had quite the normal day
19 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia21. During an analysis of cliffs never gone over
Flooded rivers almost crossed
Fleeting desires slightly quenched
I reflected on my out-of-focus reflection(s)
Questioning
why always so close
never closer
Perhaps being close is all that kept me alive
So far22 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
22. Souvenir shop of love’s lost interest
sitting on dusty cracked shelves
Once-were-trophies of a younger time
when a drunken world
so easily staggered
only to awaken decades later
scarcely remembering
love’s lingering souvenirs24 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
23. As the sole audience
(deleted soul survivor)
to the manipulated characters
in the continuing sage of my ruthless nightly dreams
(BTW terrible actors each and every one of them)
I applaud
in my questionable absence
to the endless hazards of unfulfilled dreams
smouldering on the hillside of fading humanity
Waiting as always for the final curtain
to end this charade
I so relaxingly refer to
as my only life25 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
24. No doubt the strangest of times
Easy to miss
such nuances
But we try
I so easily replace time with space
It is easier to fill
Time does not encourage hording
Space it seems does
I surround myself with surrendered artifacts
from my collection of 73 years of avoiding time
Too busy with filling space
At the destruction of earth
Time will still exist
Space will not
Tomorrow I shall embrace time
My space has no future26 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
25. Sleeping pill
Such a day breaker
Waster
World fades
Faces melt
Whispers losing their meaning
Dreams so close
If only I could find a place to lay down
randomly disintegrate
The path is windy
A hindered trail
If I were to stumble would anyone notice
Slurred speech creating such a tangled response
Out-of-tune hum
If in the future I become conscious
A co-conspirator with reality
I hope the world makes more sense than it does now
Sleepy magic making everything disappear
Except for you
The smile with a thousand faces27 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
26. I stopped watching the news
All I do now is wait 4 U
Nothing I haven’t read
So long you have been dead
So long you
Nothing more new28 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
27. The distinct mirage of love without borders
makes us aliens
swept up in the swirl of changes
we never asked to a be a part of
Though we happily flow against the tide
looking back to a simpler time
before love without borders dissolved
our resolve to continue
long ago when we hoped
Now we no longer exist
You and I
lost in the mirage of love
without borders29 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
28. Unexpectantly my wings fell off
no alternatives were coded into my makeup
So unfortunate to realize I was not a bird
or another random flying creature
as I crashed to ground
This is not new
There was that period when I believed I was a sea inhabitant
After drownings then being resuscitated
by a school of illiterate fish
and tossed onto an erotic slimy beach
teaming with voluptuous wrestling lesbians
chasing me in my ignorance
I took up some Zen shit
escaped to a Himalayan mountain top
until I froze to death from passing storms
Luckily to thaw out and be adopted by a pack of binary wolves
who raised me
Finally letting me loose into society
where to this very day
I am still trying to navigate these insane times29 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
29. In a hypothetical nightmare
your anecdotal love disappeared30 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
30. Living so freely
in a recreated past
in my mind
makes now seem like the future I never believed would arrive
and fortunately never will30 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
31. When I no longer exist
will I remember
when I did30 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
32. Such subtle monstrosities
Feelings of déjà vu
Linking shadows that once were us
freely chasing unfettered desires
across such shifting landscapes
only to become separated
You swallowed by an unreachable horizon
Me – I just fell
Free-falling through life
Never landing to analyse these feelings of déjà vu
and such emptiness
Drowning once again31 January 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
33. All my dreams came true
Now that I am awake
I wish they had not01 February 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
34. I followed my followers
who follow me
as I follow them
following our imaginary selves
over a virtual cliff of remorse
that we had followed2 February 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
35. Once the majority
Now in the minority
These alien thoughts transiting my mind
I texted you
Emailed
WhatsApp you
You died decades ago
Long before technology reminded us of our fractured selves
Our digital relationships disappearing into wastelands of memes
Brought back to life
Then fading quickly
like the majority of thoughts once entertained
now slipping away
With so little left
I do not know why I hang on
to this memory of you3 February 2021 Perseverance Road Adelaide South Australia
36. A whole new place
Even my reflection is different
A shadow of my former self
Laughing out of tune with the ill-gotten wind
ricocheting off the horizon
I once chased after success
She was a cruel cross-dressing mistress
Leaving me to die in a softened breeze
Now everywhere I arrive I embrace the new me
Only to bury him
as the sun shoves itself into its existential nothingness
05 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia37. The resident clown resplendent in my head
left me for the circus that left town
leaving me confused as to my response
in this haphazard world I troll
in anticipation of a better me
06 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia38. The seldom differences mimic past heroes
As accidental as lover flounders in an ill-conceived wind
is my suggestion of you
My once upon a time hero
When I was young
long before today was conceived
I too floundered
then often wondered if I would dread
being who I am now
and as the seldom difference would have it
I do
07 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia39. We unlearned what we learned
Now realizing what little value there was
we humbly sink
below the unlearned wisdom
we once had learned
08 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia40. Everyone headed the wrong direction
I followed
taking selfies all the way
Peaceful endings are boring
Evolution is based on mistakes
Secrets of deceptions cracks open reason
We all fall in
Now we are engulfed
here
in the wrong direction
Wishing we were not
09 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia41. I tunnelled through life’s mountainous deceptions
only to discover I never had my eyes open
to the wonders of delusion
until now
at the final push through life’s remaining opened door
where I get to embrace nothing at all
Though I still hear you laughing
‘I tricked you once again’10 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
42. My narrative became so boring
that I ended it right here10 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
43. I followed myself to the end of the street
just out of curiosity
which way would I go
once to the end of the street
but I remained lost
I often eavesdrop on conversations I am having
with bikini clad thrift store mannequins
hoping to get some racing tips at the local racetrack
I raced myself up the summit
to be first watching sunset over my fading life
but I did not make it
so I will never know how this will end11 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
44. My life mimics nature
As unpredictable as the weather
due to climate change
11 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia45. Such an artificial entitled moment
rolling across
simultaneous event horizons
To choose any particular
would diffuse the final variants of realism
knocking on my locked door
causing such a crack in time
space would explode
leaving us as scattered alien atoms
across our pretend entitled universe
pretty much like how I feel now
12 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia46. Life is the interruption experienced
when we try to dream
13 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia47. Minimalistic love created the universe
Complexed love will destroy it
13 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia48. My vehicle of expression
disintegrated
in the afterthought
of a failed memory of you13 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
49. How fruitful is disdain
We wallow in ignorance
never realizing no one wiser than ourselves
has ever existed
nor probably will
In the future everyone will be a comedian
without an audience
so fruitful our disdain16 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
50. I scribbled upon the wall of life
‘have mercy on me’
The city council proclaimed mercy was no defence
Walls came down
In their place rabbit holes appeared
You know the rest16 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
51. I awoke to discover that love was an innocent bystander
to those of us who have fallen in battle
where bravery was celebrated
with sleep forevermore16 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
52. In an ill-fated chosen direction
Love rode winds of change
Sweeping us out to sea like an ancient fabled creature
in heat
devouring an army of scantily clad luckless heroes
Leaving us wanting more
in this ill-fated direction we have chosen with such glee17 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
53. Marvellous miracle makeover
makes this newly created escape
from your slippery nebulous reality
so pleasant
I will ignore anything beyond the porous borders
of my dreams
Here in this magical mystery makeover
I now call my life18 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
54. The last thought before death
makes everyone before
slightly obsolete18 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
I pulled across curtains
they knocked at my door
I open it
they fall through a hole in my life
I hear them laughing at me
I watch them chase me through my reptilian infested dreams
I whisper to the mayor
about an insurrection
at the outskirts of my love
She sighs…
turn off the news
turn me on
All the wrong people confuse me
Perhaps I should join them and become wrong also19 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
56. Point of view
Rolling along unseen seasons
How difficult living in our head
Of course no one agrees
such a muddled mess
human endeavour is
I lecture inanimate objects
Point of view
The response is no different than discourse with carbon-based clowns
My table understands what I express
Expose
Examine
As well as anyone I have ever met
Fuck point of view
20 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia57. Ancient story motifs
saunter across my dampened pillow
as if headed to a biblical ark
floating into alien salvation
I turn and run for the nearest dream
worthy exit
collecting memory collectables
as I declutter in sync with the rising tides
This easy sea-drowning I am faced with
once again
as fables
‘life particles’
stagger across my pillow
I drown
in thoughts of who we once were
21 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia58. The inequality of creation
is that death outlasts life
by an insane proportion
making neither life nor death
a worth candidate of creation
21 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia59. Premature dream ageing
Just wrinkled blocks of time
Youthful dreams decay
Smudged hopes
blurring reality
Who cares what yesterday brought
Tomorrow is a slut
bleeding ulcers at the guillotine
as town folks orgasm
Nothing is without consequence
We live to die
decaying without want
Premature dreaming
that something sometime somewhere somehow will be different
ha ha ha
What a blessing chaos is22 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
60. I like to write
watching ink flow across a virgin page
Then I ruin it all by rewriting on a computer
Letters falling across time
Distorted reason
Pens make me feel wholesome
Words exuding from this phallic representative
00zing nonsense
I wrote on my tombstone
in the snow
‘hear here a liar lays’
I wrote that in ink
Rain came
Washed me away
The words stayed
I like watching myself write
It is so sexy
I am a perverted of ideas
I write them down
Woe is me22 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
61. Your winning was relative
to my losing
Otherwise
I could have perceived my loss as a win
Then equilibrium could have been cosmically restored
But it was not
Now is not
Leaving us bewildered
Once again23 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
62. The beggar on the street corner
Rags Smells Sadness
could have been me
but he was not
So I went into the shop
bought an imported deluxe ice cream supreme
Satisfied my hunger
that I was not the beggar on the street corner
wishing he were me23 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
63. I have a symbiotic relationship with death
One of us will succeed23 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
64. I bought a book on dream interpretation
in a language I do not know
so I would not pillage the frightening dreams
that plague my nightly landscape
with such terrifying apocalyptic scenes
that I am forced to chain myself to my bed
to prevent utter destruction
from a reflective dreamIt looks like an interesting book
if only I could understand what it says23 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
65. I took time out to write you this
Since you died
you have not had time
to read this24 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
66. Since simplicity slipped away
societies of reptiles have laughed at us humans
without our slightest concern of our foolishness
as a once special species
soon to be displaced
but the return of simplicity
overwhelms the complexed maze
we have become entangled in
24 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia67. All straight lines are horizons
if viewed without deception
opinion
reason
As a matter of fact
I have a straight line of memory
of when we were free
Before I became lost
falling over the horizon
of you
24 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia68. I try different narrative ideas
obviously this one did not work
24 February 2021 Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia69. The flight home was noneventful
We landed fifty-years past where I wish I were landing
when we were so full of life
dressed in 1969
Anything we wanted to be
landing in Hawaii
forever free in those few days
before tipsy topsy life went upside/inside out
I remember it all
whenever I land I relive
wondering
Am I back home
fifty years ago
or now
here
so many lives past later28 February 2021 Adelaide, Australia
70. 1. Window open
butterflies fly
2. Clouds whispering
Moon is hid
3. Rainbow takes selfie
announces own birth
4. Crocodile king
devours drowning city
5. Rain tastes like honey
cancelled wokers cheer
In the future all of this will be interpreted as prophecy
fulfilling the jester’s agenda
Everyone
will die laughing01 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
71. I once was concerned by the increasing wrinkles of my ageing skin
Now I follow the lines as roads across these maps of life
Celebrating the frequency
of becoming lost on these wandering well-lit highways
The increasing wrinkles on my skin01 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
72. The pleasure of planting a garden
that I will not be left to harvest
is knowing no one else will be either
All our achievements
ending like those of the dinosaurs
but passed over as useless by cockroaches
and other remaining life forms
more evolved that we would ever have been
if only we had not gone the way of the dinosaurs01 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
73. When I am asleep
is the only time
I laugh at your jokes
01 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia74. After I die
When no one remembers me
(much like now)
an object once of mine
found
taken home
from a thrift shop window
reluctantly sitting on a stranger’s shelf
will have my memories
floating unknown in their space
Perhaps in the middle of the night
I will say BOO
from the object
that once was mine
and scare that pretender to death too
02 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia75. A dead poem
All my friends grown old
I watch them die
Remembering what we said long ago
Someday we will touch the sky
Sometime before we die
But I no longer try
To touch the sky
Before I die
Because soon I too will die
02 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia76. I listen to the wind
blowing away once was calm
leaving behind broken sadness
for the next wind to blow away02 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
77. After more than six-decades of writing
stories prose poetry emails diaries shopping lists sky-writing essays novels
so much more
I have decided to stop writing
and contemplate what I just wrote
why
it’s future impact on global society
etc
and why is anyone reading this
03 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia78. While under the influence
life burst forth in the universe
Firstly as an alternative
Then as a curiosity
Now as ‘what the fuck’
Otherwise
creation has been somewhat interesting
05 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia79. Earth is still in its adolescent phase
I think I will wait to come back
until after she has grown some balls
05 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia80. She was an experimental kiss
Now she is hiding beneath a tombstone
calling my name all night long
If only
If only
05 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia81. I wish you could see me now
My accomplishments
Macho body
Incredible fantasies
But you died so long ago
Oh no!
You are part of the universe that sees me everywhere
Every angle
Every thought
Stop staring at me
I need some privacy
or you will know
I forgot all about you
Until now06 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
82. So awkward suggested love is
Desire cripples the most ardent promise
I always wanted more than I could absolve
Disassociated streams
Carbonated thoughts of consciousness
effervescing
bypassing passing moments
So awkward
suggested love is06 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
83. I re-engineered my belief system
so I could believe in you
What a poorly constructed construct
The collapse was imminent
due to such an improvable
re-engineered belief system06 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
84. My love for you
is a cognitive illusion
waking me from recurring daydreams
as I cheer so loud
my neighbours call in the military
so they can love like me tooMarch 2021 Adelaide, Australia
85. I write messages every night
Shopping lists for dreams
If they are crossed out by morning
Alive I am
Another day
dreaming
opening before my very eyes08 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
86. Every day I miss you more
Oh how I envy you gone so very long
Far beyond the hazy life I endure
Knowing you can never miss me too08 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
87. I hate facts
They splinter my imagination
Mishappen my dreams
Muddle my fantasies
Facts are so pedestrian
Making us all die
so boring08 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
88. There is no vaccine for restorative love
Making us immune
to the loss we shall endure09 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
89. She was a simple matter of change
Nothing the same
ever since
So simple
Once upon a time was
09 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
90. Watching horror films before bed
keeps the lid on dreams
escaping my prison
where I run down the avenue screaming
‘the begging is near’10 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
91. What if
there was no what if
- Would we know
- Would we stress
- Would we die
What if
11 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
92. As an audience-free author
Never on a best seller’s list
with my shelves of writing
hidden from public view
Sacred secret rendezvous
Shadows of ideas
escaping into alleys
of homeless idealists
applauding my non-involvement
Libraries bookstores news agents
overstocked with anything/everything
but not everything/ anything from me
I sing my praise of being audience-free
on the wrong side of the world stage
An inspirational invisible indecisive author
to myself12 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
93. Random passions of my youth
linger as a satisfying smile
as I amble into old age
Others think I am going batty
laughing at the most inopportune times
It is just me
remembering random passing passions
of my youth12 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
94. In a current misunderstanding
I thought I was in a time and place of 40 years ago
I was in my 30s
Another side of the world from here
No smart phone
FB
Emotions gone viral
We wrote letters wondered what would be
‘can you imagine being mid-70s’
We said in the 70s
We would laugh then go be wild for a night or few
In a current misunderstood
for just a flashing passing moment
I thought now was then
when an imagined future
was so far from what it became
My long-ago life
so real again today13 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
95. They continue to cast me in horror movies at your side
A roughly hewed supporting actor
When all I want is to show my talent
in forgetting the past
as my adage14 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
96. I try to remember when I lost wisdom
Where did it go
Who has it now
Would I recognize it if she returned
What good is it in the world today
Perhaps I never had wisdom
Much like everyone else
We pretend to possess what we never had
Now that wisdom has been lost to all14 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
97. Never having been a tree
I can only imagine such fear
of being chopped down
made into a chair
for a fat politician to sit in
calling for the removal of all trees
for construction of thousands of chairs
for all the city’s people to sit in
and listen to the fears of being a tree
as told by a chair
holding a fat politician14 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
98. I sent a cardboard cut-out of myself to my lover
Her desires difficult to quench
She had triplets
with my cardboard cut-out
leaving me in the shadows
Wishing I had more
Dreaming it was me
Wishing it wasn’t
Wondering
why cardboard cut-outs of me are now part of the landfill
where they built the hospital
for the erotically insane
Lovers of my past
each holding cardboard cut-outs of me15 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
99. I am excited about the end of civilization
when I can finally be myself15 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
100. Her life was merely a passing thought
to everyone except to her
and to me
left haunted
scarred
excited
wounded
opaque
fulfilled
by every passing thought
I have left of her16 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
101. I followed you
Until you died
Then your path became too weird
Windy
So now I only follow the setting sun
sinking forever more
into the lustful horizon
as landfill16 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
102. How calm this storm
before your righteousness subdued the terror leaking from my heart
that you would possess me
once again then leave
Leaving me
Swept away by the storm that is you18 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
103. We saw results differently
Washed away by misshapen mishaps
Philosophical foreign accents
the slurring of notions left unsolved
unresolved
dissolved
The sinkhole of interpretation
Swallowing
what should have been the seeing of results
as I do
Creating a perfect world
Ha Ha Ha
Just kidding
We all disappear
so easily into nothing at all19 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
104. Your ambient love
Broke my heart20 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
105. I learned to lie when you walked away
to myself
you will soon return
I have been lying to myself
for fifty years20 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
106. Deep in my mind
I run and hide
no one knows the chase within
Colours running down my face
Perhaps I am invisible
Crowds pass me
Some right through me
I show no pain
Guilt is a fool’s game
I am a fool on the run
If only every hero would wait
as long as me
the kiss of death
could have been more fashionable
Pleasurable
Fantasy made flesh
But I run and hide deep in my mindMarch 2021 Adelaide, Australia
107. Semi-spectacular surrealistic lover
suspending suspicious sequential events
left me baying once again
at the moon
Surprise Surprise21 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
108. I thought becoming old would be boring
But no
I spend so much time counting new ageing spots on my skin
Wrinkles on my face
Grey hairs
So much memory loss that I forgot what I was to remember
New aches
New pains to massage
People in the shops to be grumpy at
Youngsters – those under 70 – to complain about
Political annoyances @ every turn
OMG
I never knew getting old would be so draining
I think I will take another nap22 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
109. I mimic an epic alternative ending
to each episode of my life
returning to a predictable performance
in the midst of my confusion
crisis
circus
as the neighbours laugh
wishing they were not me23 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
110. I like what I see
I don’t like what I see
I replace the mirror
with a picture of jesus
Now I don’t want to be me anymore24 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
111. I remember you as a shadow
racing across my youth
disappearing when the lights went off24 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
112. My gift to the world
You
Ha Ha Ha25 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
113. I must say all the dead philosophers are shit
out of luck25 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
114. I tumbled down the wrong side of your love
where the sun refuses to shine
Moon never rises
Cosmic dreams dissolve
However
never to regret
I would gladly tumble
so freely again26 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
115. I reconceptualized my dreams of you
Realizing now
they were nightmares
never ending27 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
116. I tried to be happy
Just to see what fools were like
Now I am a fool too27 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
117. Less interesting than the common indentation of life
The reason for factual summary
of what could have been
gets deployed as laziness not manifest
So often we become muddled
with these ridiculous thoughts
some of which become believable
Though without sanctuary
nothing makes sense
Which explains why I have become less interested
in the common indentation of life28 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
118. No one remembers me
or that I was the one speaking wisdom in their psychedelic landscape
where I am often dancing naked
in my 73-year-old body
where all the me-2 millennial castaways
masturbate
where no one remembers me
speaking wisdom in their psychedelic landscape29 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
119. I am so bored with being a youthful warrior
chasing other’s fantasies away
Leave me to fade
off
into my own illusion
delusion
confusion
where fantasies need not to be chased away29 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
120. I answered the ad
‘discount on love
35% off with free steak knives
if applied in the next ten moments’
Unfortunately I was put on hold for eleven minutes
Stabbed in the heart by love once again30 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
121. I spent the past fifty years getting rid of all my friends
23-years oh so free
How grand it all should be30 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
122. Not happy with the planning committee of this planet
Weather not correct
In-convenient
Days Nights too short
Bit messy
Love just a passing fantasy of emotionally stunted disrupted humans
Another asteroid direct hit would shake things up a bit
Start over
Origins of a new species with embedded Wi-Fi
And perhaps a bike lane through the centre of town
I definitely need to have a word with the planning committee of planet earth31 March 2021 Adelaide, Australia
123. Shortly after I lost all sense of order
my life fell into place01 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
124. Your love was a psychedelic kaleidoscopic cumulonimbus formation
enveloping all before
Now after
none of us exist01 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
125. Alarms of doubt
awaken the sure-footed warrior
as he casts herself into the flames of desires
Stumbling
he grasps at fleeing shadows
wondering why she no longer makes sense01 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
126. I lost virtual virginal visiting rights
to my favourite lurid lucid dreams
Leaving me devastated
But pure
For a new series of nightmares
featuring you
unedited02 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
127. Now that you have been dead
Gone
20 years
I will stop telling you
that you were the one who let the dog out
and like you
she never came back03 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
128. All the stupid people
with their stupid beliefs
makes me feel stupid
for not believing
any of their stupid beliefs03 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
129. Thousands of years ago
philosophers were unable to Google answers
Lucky them03 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
130. Shortly before I lost my looks
I posted a selfie on our mirror
reminding
of whom I was before you walked out our door
to die forever
so long ago
before I lost my looks4 3 21 * Adelaide, Australia
131. I love have spotlights shining on me
Prevents me from falling
off the ladder to the stars
where dreams never come true
Where spotlights so bright
no one sees me falling05 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
132. I read in a comic book that your love for me was real
Saw it in a cartoon too
Storm clouds obscured your skywriting message to me
not sure what less you could have said
My hacked accounts reminded me another cash infusion would release your love for me
My astrologer predicted it too...for a fee
Dermatologists across the Outback said stop letting you under my skin
Such a mystery love is
if only I could decipher anything at all
your love for me
and its slippery value could exist06 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
133. If everyone in the world
was as lucky as me
would I be lucky06 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
134. It took me seventy-three years
to realize
this was not a worthwhile poem06 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
135. Shortly before being born
god confided a secret that he did not exist
that I should become a storyteller when I become old
to snare others
into believing she does
then we can all non-exist together07 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
136. Forgot what I forgot
and why I keep smiling at my reflection
bouncing off stellar dust
as the choir sings hallelujah
and I avoid your name07 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
137. Going extremely slow
Dreams broke open
as logic took a backseat
then we danced
the rest is just our twisted memory
reminding us to dream and nothing more07 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
138. I outlived several nursey rhymes
Unpremeditatedly of course
Now with expeditiously retro cancel-culture
I am no more08 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
139. Love is the great eraser
Vanquishing what was before
#Perhaps
You were the great eraser
I am no more08 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
140. I was born on a stormy night of no coincidence
shortly before the end of time
Growing up was a challenge
as I masked reality with cerebral nostalgia of past fantasies
Old age such a delusion
just a passing mirage
fading
before the end of time09 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
141. I embrace making mistakes
So that I can imagine what life would have been
if I had not09 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
142. I had a text-book death
shortly before books became obsolete
So that I would not be just another digital masterpiece
like those dying now never will be09 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
143. I often predict past events
just to watch them collapse as truth
in the future09 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
today's 1st thought
144. Being wishy-washy
Fishing in wishing currents
with no chance of becoming anything more
than wishy-washy wishers10 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
145. None of my dead friends attended my funeral
Leaving me to ponder whether friendship has a used by label
Were they accountable friends
Did any of my deceased friends take it personally
that I did not wax eloquently
with some useless limerick of their memory
of their endearing qualities
ha ha ha
now to ignore my plight
What messages are my dead friends attempting to transmit
by not going to
speaking
haunting my funeral
Again10 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
146. How embarrassing it would be to be remembered as you
We could join the circus
No one would want to recognize us
Separated by mere recognition at birth
As embarrassing it would be for you to be remembered as me
Again11 April 2021 Adelaide, Australia
html file with all first lines [at bottom of page]
pdf file with all first lines [at bottom of page]
2020 writings - #Thoughts in Quarantine
#Thoughts in Quarantine Images: updated 15 October/2020 Twitter ~ Tumblr ~ Pinterest ~ linkedin ~ Flickr (2020) / Flickr (pre-2019)
scribbles from 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016 - before these years Google Terrell Neuage ('Thought in Patterns' 1-5 originally published in New Orleans 1972 - 1974)
(c) Terrell Neuage 2021
NEW BLOG 21 December 2020
#Daily Thoughts 22 December 2020
'Travel with my ties in Isolation' Album on Behance
A cautionary tale
Ties in Isolation
e-books
youtube videos new > 25 December 2020 (ties in isolation)
previous youtube channel (prior to 2013)
contact me ~ My Resume#Thoughts in Quarantine Images: updated 15 October/2020 Twitter ~ Tumblr ~ Pinterest ~ linkedin ~ Flickr (2020) / Flickr (pre-2019)
Behance Project - Thoughts in Semi-Isolation June 2020A few of my social sites that I post to... being a private person I have only listed a few of ones I am willing to share - what about you?
Wordpress (blog),
Facebook,
Youtube,
Daily Motion,
ePub,
substack,
Flicker,
Live Journal,
Foursquare,
Screencast,
Twitter ,
Instagram ,
Linkedin,
Pinterest,
Wimkin,
Caffeine,
WT Social,
Goodreads,
github
tumblr,
myportfolio,
Behance
gab
Quora
deviant art,
MeWe,
coderwall,
Hacker News,
fiverr,
Kakao,
VK,
OK,
Skyrocket,
MIX,
reddit 
AdobeEducation 
Cargo 
Telegram 
