Life as a roadmap

I once thought astrology would provide a roadmap to my life but the more I studied it the more I realized it was only a roadmap in as far as one made it up as they went. Astrology is a system that can say whatever we want to hear. It is not just Sun sign astrology – take the other planets, add a few asteroids, fixed stars, and nodes of planets and midpoints between planets and houses and house rulers and a few hundred other celestial objects and someone will find something that will explain something. I love astrology and have spent many hours looking at my chart and my chart in relationship to someone else’s chart and if I progress my chart using any one of several systems then surely, I can explain why the moment is the way it is. However, as many times as I have found an astrological explanation for something that happened there have been momentous moments in my life that have no direct astrological signatures to explain them. What I am finding is that there really are no roadmaps. Road mapping life is as vague as saying the Christian Bible is the roadmap or the Koran or the Bhagavad-Gita or The New York Times, maybe Leaving Australia by Dr. Neuage is the ultimate roadmap. Perhaps the Christian Bible was the roadmap two thousand years ago and still is for those who do not have the courage, creativity and intelligence to move past a worn-out map. The way forward cannot be found in yesterday’s path – two-thousand years ago we walked along the path, today we are able to take planes, subways, monorails and digital as well as fiber optical pathways to travel upon. The road-less travelled is simply the electrical impulses that traverse the motor neurons in our brain and the difficult path is when the path shuts down. Streams of energy drain out of ourselves into the atmosphere, absorbed by who knows what, then falling, as pollution dust south of yesterday’s karma, becomes that, that we are. Just as humanity may have invented consciousness three thousand years ago and humans stopped talking to the Gods in their minds; what we are inventing now is our own eternity forming on levels we can only imagine until we die and are able to go to the place we believe is our afterlife. When we have finally downloaded our brain and nanobots and grey goo has covered the solar system then a new Savior will arise from amongst the bots to save the moment. My rant of the ‘way it is’ as I see it this moment – being quite different from how I saw it several moments ago, is as valid as anyone else’s rant on ‘the way it is’. At the end of the day, no one really knows anything except for what we make up and call our reality or belief system. My favourite entertainments are books and videos and lectures by those who purport to know the way it is. The many books by ‘those who know’ what happens when we die for example are a testament to creative and wishful thinking of what happens next. I saw a book in New York City last week (December 20, 2003) in the New-Age section that an alleged psychic wrote of what the afterlife was like. She described the chambers, the rooms, and the beings there – all in very earthy, Western twenty-first century descriptive terms.

The book riveted me and on the cover, there was the proclamation that it is a best seller. Why anyone would believe what someone writes as ‘the way it is’ defies logic. In fact, I am writing a book about the afterlife and what happens in that realm and then after publishing it on the Internet I will purchase it as an e-book. I will say on my website that a zillion times it had been downloaded, and then I too, will be able to proclaim its great swarms of believers making it a bestseller; at least unto myself.
At least I will admit that I have made it all up. Humans, are so gullible and taken in by whatever someone will sell them as truth. This is simply the case of us not having questioning ability to try to discern whether we are indeed being hustled. Spirituality is the con game of our species. We have too much money too much spare time too much insecurity to live our life without clutching at someone else’s interpretation.  ‘What God was trying to say was…’ and then of course we are to shell out the money to buy the book, support the ministry and convert others to this ‘the way to God’.

I am as guilty as anyone else is trying to find sense in this life. For more than a decade, I have listened to subliminal tapes only to recently see how they can bring death and destruction and are nothing more than moneymaking schemes. I still listen to ‘Self-Healing is Natural’ a subliminal tape from InnerTalk. Not because I believe it will have any desired effect on my health but for an entirely different reason which I am too sensitive to, to say at this moment why I listen to that tape and why it brings me a sense of closeness and at other times I am too sad to listen anymore. Subliminal tapes are for those who do not have command of their lives, for people who feel they are not empowered to tell themselves they can succeed but need someone else to do it – and to do it behind music or nature sounds so they do not hear the voice. I have never heard of a truly successful person who needed subliminal tapes. There would not be one Nobel Prize winner or one person on the Fortune 500 list that needed to resort to subliminal tapes. Companies sell thousands and thousands of these tapes to weak-minded people who cannot take hold of their lives and accomplish what they want. In my own life, I have succeeded and felt better during periods of not listening than when I bought these tapes and listened for hours each day thinking they would help the situations in my life to be different from the way they were.

I am guilty of spending a decade in an Order, The Holy Order of MANS, believing it was a way, maybe even The Way. Guilt is a strong word but since it was a Christian Order it really does fit. I have spent decades exploring stuff: Christianity, various occult systems, metaphysics, the Mystical Kabbalah, Tarot Cards, swirling dervishes (the Sufi disco-type), New Age techniques, yoga, Eastern Teachings, numerology, astrology for forty-years, palmistry, chemically induced techniques and mediations of all sorts as well as a mind-numbing amount of herbs and foods. I spent a couple of years in New Orleans in the early 1970s making astrological herbal elixirs based on astrology charts thinking I was an alchemist. No doubt my love of lemon grass tea is left over from that period as it has something to do with Venus and having Libra Ascendant; drinking a Venus tea made me feel something, though at the moment I am not sure what. I drink it now for the taste, knowing it really does not do diddly-squat for me except to fortify my Venus which now is under siege by an unforgiving Saturn transit. Something that occurs every 28 – 30-years. The last time it happened I was leaving the Holy Order of Mans in 1977 and this time I am leaving upstate New York. Not quite the same, but the beauty of astrology is that one can say anything about anything, and it sounds cosmic and lends one to contemplate that a synchronous simulation is happening. Of course, Jungian synchronicity is lately a computer reference; Synchronous data flow. I will come back to this overlap between ‘older’ metaphysics and ‘modern’ machine-metaphysics with my parallels between local-galactic-data flow streams, nanotechnology and women bloggers with strong Mars aspects later. And yes, I have visited the Georgia Guidestones with the creepy lines about limiting the earth’s population to about five million. So, there is always something and someone grabbing attention about the way it is. Of course, now that it has graffiti all over it I am sure the fine folks who erected it are pissed off at their contribution to life-on-earth.

The Georgia Guidestones were destroyed on July 6, 2022, following a bombing that caused significant damage, leading to their demolition later that day.

At the end of the day, as I told my son Sacha yesterday who is just beginning to explore various paths, at the age of twenty-two, ‘it is really, whatever you want it to be, because, as alluded to in the Batavian oracle or was it the Book of Solomon?  Anything else is a colossal lie’. This seemed like very solid fatherly advice and surely what I would have liked to have heard from my adopted father if he had not been such a Christian-die-hard who now is actually dead.

No one has really returned from the dead, no one really has contact with ‘the Other-Side’ no matter how much this person or that person raves on about channeling or visions. At the end of the day, no one has a clue. All we can do is live this moment as the totality of everything. To do anything more is to have someone else control us. Perhaps all our believed beliefs are just simulation-reactions in our brain in a swirling dervish Quantum mechanical polka-like digital dance.
According to an article in New Scientist 24, July 02, entitled ‘Paranormal beliefs linked to brain chemistry’;

‘People with high levels of dopamine are more likely to find significance in coincidences and pick out meaning and patterns where there are none.

Blimey. I personally do not believe this to be the case in totality. Our brain waves affect us, as well as the climate, world events, our personal experiences, the girl next door and virgins giving births to Gods and local messiahs as well as those who believe they were born from a virgin. There is no final denominator or magic formula for who we are. Astrology as well as science, philosophies, foods, and medications help us to understand or at least provide the substances of illusionary belief. It all becomes part of the mix. Where I am and who I am at this moment is a result of experiences and how I have dealt with whom I believe I am at this time. I have dealt with these experiences based on how I dealt with similar experiences that went before. Now that I am faced with new sets of experiences (7 January 2004) that have no background for me the whole of me is the fractured bits of before come together for a big party encased in the shell I call my life. I have no consciousness of this lifetime background but if life is continuous and there really are previous as well as future existences that are somehow blocked from my current perception then what good are they? We all want to feel like the centre of the universe or at least of our planet or perhaps even of our family/community/tribe/club Self.

We, as humans have been wrestling with this since good ole Nicky Copernicus spat out, “hey, mate, we have no privileged place in the cosmos”. Before him, the incredibly spiritually gifted and insightful Christians – following their leader, Jesus, and a few lame disciples, led humans to believe that the earth was the centre of everything and all else was tossed around the place; stars, moon, planets, black holes, stellar shit – just for us earthlings to trip on. Nicky came up with this anti-Christian notion that the earth revolved around the sun once yearly and not the sun around the earth. Holy Cow did that piss off the Christians or what7F? (A papal decree in 1620 demanded alterations in ten specific places in the text of Nicky’s outrageous claims that the earth was not at the centre of it all. See “Harvard Science Historian Publishes Results of Unprecedented 30-Year Census of Copernican Masterpiece”, Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, viewed November 20, 2002 at https://www.cfa.harvard.edu/news/archive/pr0221.html)

Once whilst working as a psychiatric nurse in Honolulu I came across a girl who believed she had been Joan of Arc in a previous life. How Joan could have ended up in Queens Medical Centre is quite a mystery to me. I remember little about her except that she would cry a lot and needed sedation most of the time. Is it possible that our life will never be anything more than a fantasy, maybe a dream or a masturbatory joke to someone else in the future? I know no one in the future will say, ‘I was Terrell Neuage’. Even if there are other life times and I came back I would not tell anyone then that I was me in this lifetime being who I was in that lifetime. Of course, someone could have uploaded my brain-content to some nano-cloud and have it downloaded to their at-home-personal-robot assistant, just for laughs. I do not remember anything lately from any other time and I never have even had a slight flash of similarities/familiarities. We believe in an afterlife because it is just to terrifying to believe that when we die there is nothing else. That all there is, is nothing at all. Even worse is the Christian dogma where a select few go to a paradise type of place and the rest are tortured for eternity – what kind of a creator would create that scenario? All that we do, the thoughts, the sex, drugs and rock and roll and turmoil and pain and strivings; what is it for if there is not a future?

I have established some consistency in life. Consistence is my security. I may change women, homes, nationalities, cats, dogs, family, looks, worldviews but I, as all other carbon-based molecules, need consistencies to survive. My first consistency, which I have maintained for forty years, is being a vegetarian. It started as a teenager because the thought of eating an animal made me feel ill. Along the way I have done it for spiritual reasons, economic reasons, to gain attention as being the only one in the group that didn’t eat meat, for health reasons and finally now I have not eaten meat for so long that even though I do not have a specific reason not to eat it I just don’t. I feel secure in doing something I have done for so long. Of course, being aware of the toxicity of meat and what is fed to animals that are eaten is enough for me to seriously question the intelligence of anyone who eats meat. Maybe it is simply because I do not believe that humans are the climax of creation but merely a steppingstone along the way. It all sounds so Darwinian, but it does not take much looking around us to realize that evolution is a result of variation, heredity, the struggle for existence, and finding a virgin to give birth to us.

NEXT 9. Actual events

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